© 2023 by The Pleasure Principal

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Amy M. Baker

Intimacy Expert, Sex & Relationship Doula

By appointment only

Seattle: Leschi & Capital Hill

Video sessions worldwide

206/325.5129 ofc

206/753.8676 mbl

Take the first step now.


LGBTQ+ welcome

You are likely a capable woman.
      You "have it all". 
You "can DO it ALL".
            You GOT this...
Think about it, though. We tell each other,
"You GOT this!"
        as if NOT having this means we have failed.
We reinforce, in ourselves and in one another, the postmodern stereotype that women are less than adequate when they want a TRIBE, when they need a sounding board, when they long for community, when we need or just want help.

In our work together, I am going to give you permission to have your feelings and desires, and will help you express them in a way that will get you closer, in mindful practice, to getting them heard, met, and expressed--first verbally, and then physically. Our work will include mentorship and practice in loving yourself and understanding your patterns in relationship. 

It’s time to feel whole and integrated, to live without anxiety, internalized anger, or grief, and to find a language for what you want and who you are.

Through our work together, you will develop new beliefs and practices to find pleasure, fulfillment, and a sense of self.

Every woman is unique to her experience. A lot of women do their work on the male paradigm and do not feel valued or heard unless using the language of the male paradigm.

Our work together is to help you identify your needs, desires, and goals, and a language and system that allows you to integrate them.

             Explore the Modalities I use.



I offer mentoring and partnering in helping women to learn how to be more empowered, sexually fulfilled women. Through practice sessions, you can learn how to be skillful in identifying what you want out of your emotional, physical, intellectual, and spiritual facets of your life. 

Some areas of focus

  • Practice asking for what you want

  • Identify your boundaries

  • Develop Self-ness

  • Connect with your desires

  • Find your voice

  • Understand relationship patterns

  • Discover where you sit on the Adult Attachment Scale

  •  Learn your attributional style

  • How to become aroused in different contexts

  •  Learn to initiate on your terms

  • Discover how to experience pleasure/desire



Sex, sexuality, function, desire, guilt, shame, embodiment, philosophy, addiction, infidelity...
What do YOU need?


Function, communication, desire, 
guilt, shame, embodiment, addiction, infidelity...
How do YOU integrate?

Let's work together.

Coaching Topics & Focus Areas

The focus of our work together is as idiosyncratic as you, which is why our first two sessions are designed to gain more insight into you so that you can better identify your needs, desires, and goals, and give me inside knowledge into you.


Changes Along the Lifespan

The shifting stages of development are so apparent in infancy, toddlerhood, and throughout childhood and adolescence. Then people think they are an adult and spend the rest of their lives "adulting," as if there is a proscribed method for doing so. The truth is, we are shifting throughout our lifespans. And these lifespans are long. We "do relationship" as if once the contract with our partner is set, it is done and never shifts and never needs to be talked about again. 

Guess what? It does. Our bodies change, our minds change, we may feel vulnerable talking about this, yet we need to. To hoard information, even about oneself, is to stop innovating, to stop growing. When we stop sharing but also decide we're comfortable, especially if someone else wants us to share, we die a little death that is not the pretty one that orgasm is. 

Staying in conversation, communication, negotiation, and authentic relating with intimacy helps difficult conversations even as they deepen intimacy. And INTIMACY ALWAYS BEGINS WITH SELF.

Some areas of focus

  • Figuring out a life plan

  • Dating

  • Moving in with a partner

  • The Head & the Heart: Marriage cost-benefit analysis

  • Deciding to have a child

  • Building a family/Family Years

  • When menopause coincides with menses in your daughter

  • Your role in your child's life

  • Discerning divorce

  • Physiological changes

  • Repair in your primary relationship

  • Co-parenting

  • Empty nesting: Who are you when your kids leave home?

  • Desire and ability

Knowing what you want so that you can
ask for what you want 

Recondition your framework for asking for what you want. As a society, women are often conditioned to sublimate their own desires in service of others, or the greater good. We slut shame. We call women who like sex "nasty" or "sluts." Women are often taught to be passive, and men are taught to be the initiators. Many believe that if they are not perfect, they do not deserve to ask for what they want. Some people don't know what they want because it has been a kind of taboo to explore it and express it, so they suppress it.

Some areas of focus

  • In dating situations

  • In sexual situations

  • Communication and truth-telling with your partner

  • The new professional paradigm

  • The new family landscape

  • Shifting boundaries and articulating them

  • Learning to see your sexuality as valid and healthy

  • Reproduction

  • Empowerment in the feminine


Many men go through their lives with some amount of shame, cloaked in it from their youth, as if it were a foregone conclusion that to be a man means living with some level of shame.

  • What is your adult attachent style?

  • How did your attachment style form?

  • When your lover/partner's attachment style activates your own insecurities

Sex & stuff

Women sometimes talk to their close friends about what's happening for them sexually and emotionally, but sometimes they're embarrassed or don't even know where to begin. I'm here to help with the conversation, without you feeling judged. 

Some areas of focus

  • How to have open communication around sex

  • Consent

  • Resentment

  • Embarrassment

  • When your desire outweighs your partner

  • Desire discrepancy

  • Changes in the vaginal biome

  • Sex after cancer

  • Sex, emotions, and self-critique after kids

  • Vaginal/perineal trauma

  • Identity

  • Kinks & hang-ups

  • Non-monogamy & Infidelity

  • Hypersexuality/Sex addiction

Staying Connected for Couples
with Infants & Young Children 

It is hard to fathom how much a baby is going to change your relationship to your partner, and how lonely that can be. Research shows that children fare better on scales related to depression, academic performance, resilience, and adaptability when they grow up in households with two parents (as long as there is not high conflict or violence involved). Being able to offer a stable and loving home environment for children really starts before their birth. How do you maintain communication and deepen intimacy with your partner when you don't even know how to navigate what's going on with you?

Some areas of focus

  • Sleep deprivation

  • Partner resentment

  • Feelings of loss/grief around shifting roles

  • Parenting attitudes, styles, and types

  • Variations in parenting styles that spell trouble

  • Sex deprivation

  • Baby resentment: The little permanent guest(s)

  • Is this really my beautiful life?

Relational Necessities

Understanding your Love Language, how you relate, how you like to be seen, how you like to show your affection frequently have to do with early childhood attachments. Understanding your attachment style, the need for individuation within relationship, and the skills for repair are necessities to every relationship.

Some areas of focus

  • Your Love Language

  • Your partner's Love Language

  • Gottman's 7 Principles

  • Core Identity Work

  • Three Components to Any Relationship

  • Relational doomsday actions

  • The Deepening Wheel

Infidelity & Ethical Non-Monogamy

How to discuss the terms of your relational agreement.

Some areas of focus

  • Monogamy principles & beliefs

  • The bidirectional influence of social culture and personal values

  • The ethics of non-monogamy

  • Infidelity: When you or your partner cheats (unethically)

  • Going along with poly to preserve your relationship

  • Attachment work

I work on systems of Self.

If you want to:​

  • step into your Best Self,

  • have better Connection to yourself and your relationships,

  • be more at peace,

  • know how to better understand Conflict, and

  • have better sex,


I can help you.

Complete the Contact form below to
schedule a free 15-minute phone consult.

Schedule a free telephone consult now

In-office, telephone, or video sessions

Locations: Capital Hill or Leschi

Seattle, Washington

info@thepleasureprincipal.org  |  Tel: 206-325-5129

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