© 2023 by The Pleasure Principal

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Amy M. Baker

Intimacy Expert, Sex & Relationship Doula

By appointment only

Seattle: Leschi & Capital Hill

Video sessions worldwide

206/325.5129 ofc

206/753.8676 mbl

Take the first step now.


LGBTQ+ welcome

The ways couples communicate and manage conflict
    determines their overall success.

                Research shows that mismanaged conflict and negative interactions predict:

  •  marital distress,

  •  distress on individual partners, and

  •  adverse affects on children.

Who are you, as individuals and as partners?
     Who do you want to be, as individuals and partners?

The only people who determine that are the people in the relationship, and unfortunately, couples don't often seek coaching until there is a problem. Wouldn't it be wonderful if we taught couples to goal-set the way they do in other areas of their lives?

I do both.
  •         I help couples in conflict, and
  •         I help couples set goals and work on the three basic components of Relationship 

Our greatest need as humans is social connection and security in intimacy.

It’s time...
To feel whole and integrated,
To live without shame, bitterness, distrust, dis-ease, isolation, and longing.
To find a language for what you want and who you are.

Through our work together, you will develop new beliefs and practices to find pleasure, fulfillment, and a sense of self.

Every couple has a canvas upon which they determine their success. Having good skills for goal-setting, truth-telling, and moving conflict forward productively will change your life for the better.

Our work together is to help you identify your needs, desires, and goals, and to then find tangible, actionable ways for you to integrate them.

           Explore the Modalities I use.


Sex, sexuality, function, desire, guilt, shame, embodiment, philosophy, addiction, infidelity...
What do YOU need?


Function, communication, desire, 
guilt, shame, embodiment, addiction, infidelity...
How do YOU integrate?

Let's work together.

Couples Mediation, Discernment, Uncoupling with Dignity, Co-Parenting Plans, and Skills-Building that Deepen Your Connection

The focus of our work together is as idiosyncratic as you, which is why our first two sessions are designed to gain more insight into you so that you can better identify your needs, desires, and goals, and give me inside knowledge into you.

Marital Mediation

How do you have a space to resolve conflict before years go by and you're taking a deep, last-ditched effort into couples' therapy? Easy! Marital mediation. Couples who are working through newer conflict tend to spend 2-4 two-hour sessions learning how to resolve immediate conflict and evolve toward a model of moving through conflict with more ease on their own. This is by far less expensive than divorce, and more fulfilling than white-knuckling it through 20 years of avoidance and anxiety.

Discernment Series: Decision-making divorce

People are living longer. There is a focus on expressive indivdualism that places the personal goals and. values above Other. There is also a tension with the 50s model of 'until death us do part." We change. We grow. We stagnate. We "fall out of love." We think love should be fun and seductive like it was when we were first dating, and we want to seek that stimulus again.

This 5-week series involves mediation, therapeutic dialoguing, and practical tools for couples to determine whether to spend the financial and emotional capital to dissolve their union. 

Marital Dissolution Mediation

When you know it can't work, deciding how to deconstruct it together is far more empowering than having a judge decide your parenting plan and property division. There is self-determination that gets to happen at the mediation table that does not happen in court.

Some areas of focus

  • Residential parenting plans

  • Age-appropriate parenting plans

  • Emotionally-focused parenting plans

  • Property division

Adult Attachment Styles

Want to deepen your connection while preserving your autonomy? Get to know your attachment style and its origins in this 12-week series for couples. By private session, or also offered as a Workshop Series.

Relational Necessities

Understanding your Love Language, how you relate, how you like to be seen, how you like to show your affection frequently have to do with early childhood attachments. Understanding your attachment style, the need for individuation within relationship, and the skills for repair are necessities to every relationship.

Some areas of focus

  • Your Love Language

  • Your partner's Love Language

  • Gottman's 7 Principles

  • Core Identity Work

  • Three Components to Any Relationship

  • Relational doomsday actions

  • The Deepening Wheel

Difficult Conversations

We don't usually have to have difficult conversations at the beginning of a relationship, but sometimes, when things get more serious, we feel there are things we wish to disclose that we have kept as secrets for a long time. Even when we've been with someone a while, difficult conversations can be, well, difficult. These sessions offer you the opportunity to have a difficult discussion with a neutral third party. It's a little like mediation, and a little like therapeutic dialogue, and a little like adult education, and a little like conflict coaching. The key is to walk away with skills you can use wherever and whenever you need.

Some areas of focus

  • Disclosures at the beginning of getting serious

  • Libido & Desire

  • Physical and emotional changes in Self

  • Communicating discomfort or unhappiness

  • Delivering hard news

  • Re-negotiating the marital/relational contract

  • Changes along the lifespan

Date Time with Amy

One of the best things you can do for yourselves and your Baby is to maintain your connection to one another, your connection to your own identity, and the primacy of your relationship. Weekly Parenting and Intimacy sessions help guide young parents through the trenches of the Infancy and Early Childhood Years. 


Clients have a session, form some goals, talk things out, work on tactile awareness and touch, then go for a bike ride, see a movie, have a picnic by the Lake, or go find a place to get it on.


Some people like it so much, they stay through Middle Childhood and come back again during the Second Coming when adolescence hits. ​

Your Kinks, My Hang-Ups, & Vice Versa

Some like it hot. Some like it a little different. Partnered or not, it can be difficult to bring up the things that really rev you up if you have not a) found your language for it, b) accepted it yourself, or c) have a hang-up that includes shame around it. 

Some areas of focus

  • Kink origin and how to communicate them

  • Fetish origin and how to integrate or shed

  • Fears & Hang-Ups: That Inner Critic

  • Dealing with your partner's kinks, fetishes, and hang-ups

Infidelity & Ethical Non-Monogamy

How to discuss the terms of your relational agreement when someone feels betrayed or someone feels entitled.

Some areas of focus

  • Monogamy principles & beliefs

  • The bidirectional influence of social culture and personal values

  • The ethics of non-monogamy

  • Infidelity: When you or your partner cheats (unethically)

  • Going along with poly to preserve your relationship

  • Attachment work

Amy Baker, Intimacy Expert

I work on systems of Self.

If you want to:

  • step into your Best Self,

  • have better Connection to yourself & your spouse,

  • be more at peace,

  • know how to better understand Conflict, and

  • have better sex,


I can help you.

Schedule a free telephone consult now

In-office, telephone, or video sessions

Locations: Capital Hill or Leschi

Seattle, Washington

info@thepleasureprincipal.org  |  Tel: 206-325-5129

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