Amy is gifted. Her gift is her ability to bring intelligence and insight to relationships that can get tangled and confused. She is able to hold the whole picture with the right balance of compassion and directness. I very much appreciate working with Amy. [She] has read the books and done the hours of training but that is not why she is excellent at her work. Amy brings her intelligence and humanity into the room. It helped set a baseline of trust from the start. She gives the sense of someone who is uniquely suited to guide people on intimacy and connection.
Shifts in Self
January 14, 2017
“I would recommend Amy as a sex doula to anyone, single or married or coupled. She holds the space powerfully and gently. She changed how I felt about being a man and how I felt about being married and staying married. This was probably the most important work I have done on myself, and my wife and kids benefitted.”
My marriage wasn't over
“Thanks to Amy's insightful mind and soft skills, I overcame feeling like my marriage was over. We started having real conversations.”
“When I came to Amy, I was ready to leave my marriage if my wife wanted it. Neither my wife nor I was committed to anything about our relationship—we were just committed to the commitment we made. We talked in notes passed on the kitchen island. I didn’t even tell my wife I was going to see someone about how to get my life into more balance. Really, I just wanted to disappear and go on adventures with my buddies. After seeing Amy, I realized that my attitude was that I had sort of “paid” for all of my free time by paying for everything, and that I had actually taken my wife for granted for over 25 years. My marriage couldn’t have been all that fulfilling or happy for her, either. No wonder she didn’t want to have sex with me or even talk to me anymore. Without getting into it, Amy helped me see that I was treating my wife exactly the way my stepdad treated my mom, and that my mom took it out on me. I said I’d never repeat the past, but I repeated the past.”
Reframing the narrative
Working with Amy has been such an eye opening and valuable experience for me and my husband. We have been through a lot together which has made our bond strong, but also has given us a lot of baggage. We also come from challenging backgrounds which sometimes highlights our lack of healthy coping mechanisms. All of this to say that there are lots of layers weaving in and out of our relationship. Unraveling them can be challenging. Amy has helped us to understand each other's unique values and how they affect the way we each communicate. Learning how to express my thoughts and feelings in a calm and positive way, in a language that my husband understands has been hugely beneficial to our marriage. I can't thank Amy enough.
The Many Faces of Domestic Violence
“I saw Amy about my husband’s lack of joy and the fact that we hadn’t had sex in almost 20 years. But I didn’t tell her that my husband was pretty abusive to me verbally. She knew anyway. She could just see it. Not even my best friend since childhood knew it. I tried to lie because I was so ashamed. Never in a million years did I think I would be one of those women. Amy helped me to start to believe in myself again. She helped me with language for taking back some of my strength and courage to stand up for myself, and to start doing the things I loved again. And you know what? I started feeling better, and I stopped feeling like I had to pretend everything was great. I have always been an optimistic person, but I lost that for a long time at home. He’s treating me better than he has since we were first married. It’s not perfect, but it is a far cry from where I was three years ago.”
I'm a limited licensed legal technician (LLLT) who's referred countless cases to Amy and have never been disappointed. She has a gorgeous blend of talent, patience, and spark that can be of immense use at the mediation table.
Moving from "Stuck"
“I didn’t feel like my life had much meaning and I was stuck professionally, at home, and with my wife. I started seeing Amy for the wrong reasons, I’ll admit it. I wanted her to tell me it was all my wife’s fault and that I should get a divorce. Instead, she asked me to look at my role in where I was now, and how it felt when one of my children blamed all of their problems on their teachers or my wife or me. She asked me to think about my ‘idyllic’ life three or five years into the future, when I had my own place and only had to deal with kids every other week, and asked me how ‘different’ I would be once I uprooted everyone else’s life for whatever discomfort I was feeling right now. I decided to stay with my wife and work on me, because even though my wife has some things I would like her to work on, ultimately, I am only responsible for me and I don’t even think she can hear me tell her she needs to work on her because I have never worked on me.”
Clarity and healing
Amy has been a tremendous help to me and my healing. She has helped me understand how the traumas from my childhood have been affecting my relationships in the past as well as the present and without change will affect those in the future. My work with her has brought a lot of clarity and the knowledge that I am capable of doing and must do if I want to be my best self. She is a healer!
Calming growth work
Amy is a pro! She has a very calming presence and asks wonderful questions that probe appropriately into your stuff. Amy listens but not just to repeat your thoughts, she is actively listening to challenge your conclusions and gently allow you to grow and expand. If you are looking for an intelligent professional who is committed to her work in helping you, you've come to the right person.
An objective resource
June 12, 2019
Amy has been an objective resource in my life: someone to help navigate the undercurrents of my past to better acclimate or change the present. With time, I have developed a more malleable capacity for emotional intellect which has served to the betterment of those around me.
To believe experiences are isolated is a form of delusion rooted in the bedlam of fear--a common state I found myself in. Stagnation is what I had resigned myself to during introspective moments of the narrative I believed was true. The Agency allowed me the space to grow and gain understanding for the things I lacked--all without judgment.
The opportunity to comprehend my thoughts and emotions has served well in momentarily pausing the subversive reactions and conclusions stemming from conditioned behavior or detrimental residue left from past challenges. This emotional intelligence, along with actions which may undermine my desired outcome, is essential to stop from inadvertently being led to disappointment: part of which is acknowledgement to the inevitable moments of failure.
Sessions, at times, have been challenging but necessary. I needed someone capable, an administrator of truth no matter how bitter--this method was by request.
We Are What We Think
“So much gratitude for our time today. What a help you were. Thank you. It’s really made a difference.” [On shifting attitudes on marriage, career, and health, and moving toward greater self-compassion and self-worth.]